Have you ever read something on Facebook and have the sudden urge to explain to the poster why their post was a problem FOR YOU? Ever see comments on posts or online articles that make you want to question the commenters sanity or their upbringing? Yeah, me too.
One of the worst type of posts I usually see are the statements of a persons “facts” based on “their beliefs and feelings.” Sometimes they have research to “support” their facts. However, their research is not typically credible and is usually based on another human perspective or idea, not statistics which is based on numbers, logic, and a formula that has been validated by other scientists. (Real scientist, not the ones who are FB group administrators.)
It’s astounding to me how I get paid to teach humans to challenge their negative behaviors that lead to bullying, drug use, alcohol dependency, and relationships and sexual dysfunction. How do I do this you ask? By teaching them to recognize when they are making choices and reacting to others comments and behaviors based on their “feelings” versus facts and sound decision making and problem solving strategies.
In a world where some prefer to watch videos on Tik Toc (which has a time and place) versus reading a book to expand their minds, and possibly developing sound reasoning strategies (yeah I almost fell asleep writing that) I get why traces of problem solving and reasoning skills are slowly slipping into the past along with being kind and seeking gratitude.
Unfortunately, the hypocrisy of this hole* situation makes my stomach turn because it’s behaviors that start at the very top of the social and political ladders, and trickles in and out of homes like snakes and into our school systems, social systems, and social media. Kids listen when parents are too focused on themselves and their own lives, versus not dropping names and poison about their neighbors, coworkers, colleagues, and leaders in our communities, which in turn teaches their children entitlement, hate, and intolerance.
It also teaches their children that they do not have to learn how to manage their negative emotions. They learn by watching their parents that it’s ok to tweet accusations, call others mean and racist names, create lies, and pain towards another human for the whole world to see and judge without the ability to have the court proceedings that our constitution has granted us the right to have before we are found to be guilty for a presumed action. Especially when there is absolutely no evidence to support these “facts” they proudly tout.
We no longer take the time to explore guilt through facts, we use feelings, opinions, and presumption. Our world has used social media to destroy credibility…unfortunately, it doesn’t just destroy the accused it can also destroy the accuser. Which some of you are already thinking, “it’s what they deserve”- and now we are back at being the judge, jury, executioner.
Lastly, for now anyway…think about how you believe you are most likely a good and kind person. Then think about how your behaviors may look to others. Next-if you have to justify ANYTHING you say or do in reaction to another persons post or comment- you are a part of the problem. You may be telling yourself your intentions are good and you are the teacher of whatever lesson, which maybe true. However, I dare you to seek out the person in real life (IRL) to have this discussion with.
Because I’m not a hypocrite and I welcome open discussion and dialogue I’m happy to talk to anyone who has ideas to improve the world through being more kind-I’d love to learn new techniques for myself!
This blog is based on first hand behavior observations and articles that include researched statistics.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/lessons-for-stopping-a-cyberbully-1463430999
*hole-this was a methodically placed typo that evokes either an eye roll and or judgement thought towards this article. If you reacted to this test using judgmental scrutiny, it’s possible you may be the person that needs to keep scrolling…
Whiskey Momma 