I think it’s really important to tell those you love-how much you “like”them. I find it is easy to love people you care about, while easily not liking some of their life style choices or interpersonal qualities. Friends that chew or talk too loud, maybe you don’t like their partners, or you have different beliefs and values. However, you’re similar enough or have enough common interests to find a middle and peaceful ground.
What I’m talking about is that “in-love” person-your human that you can’t imagine existing without for longer than six minutes past their earthly departure. I believe it’s really important for me to make sure you know-that you know just how much you mean to me and why.
Most people can describe the narrative they tell themselves as to “why they are lovable or wanted.” The reasons are pretty typical-attraction, stability (although I’d argue this point with some), aligned or similar beliefs/principles, has a job, can cook, can do laundry, etc, etc…
Some reasons, for me, need to extend past the bounds of basic first level hierarchy of needs. I have my own home, a job, I can cook and clean(although I hate it), I even mow my own grass now thanks to Covid! My reasons are more actualized and generally non-negotiable.
In a recent declaration of my “life why’s” to my number one human, my true love, the person who I admire and I’m inspired most by-I created a list of why’s and the reasons behind the why’s. I’m not gonna share the letter, but I’ll share the “why’s” and maybe some of the reasons!
My list:
1-through adversity and the bullshit thrown at you, a person must be able to thrive-even when you don’t feel like it. This shows character and ones ability to persevere.
2-be able to look for a balance (on most days) to manage life stressors. Focusing on your role as a victim is not a balance. Recognizing when you are a victim, and taking steps to survive and learn from the situation indicates growth, the ability to problem solve, and the ability to evolve.
3-during the moments when you feel off balance, one can still find a balance to get through their demons, their pain, and their suffering out without creating more harm to themselves or others.
4-LOVE in ways someone has never known!
5-Care for and protect your loved ones to prevent them from suffering whenever possible.
6-take perspective. Always.
7- challenge yourself and others. Period.
8-do what needs to be done no matter what it is, no matter how awful it feels at the time, even if you feel shitty because you had to do the right thing.
9-you know you are not perfect, you don’t claim to be, and yet-you are perfectly perfect.
10-Be honest. Be truthful about your fears, your insecurities, and when you lack knowledge-seek answers, not power to shut it down.
11-Make an effort and be an inspiration. Inspire others to work harder and smarter. Inspire them to love more and and open up to the possibility of new adventures in life, including falling in love.
I never really considered that the “like” was as important as I have found it to be. However, spending time with someone from a great distance requires creativity and effort that, for me, feels effortless. It’s like this because I “like” him. I enjoy the silences, the side glances and the head on stares I receive (through FaceTime for now), in addition to the long and meaningful conversations which would not exist if I didn’t “like” him.
If we were in physical proximity of one another there’s a real possibility that we may skip one of the interesting conversations that we’ve had because we were focused on a physical component of the relationship versus really getting to know and be comfortable with hard and uncomfortable shit. Which, anyone who knows me at all knows I call it like I see it-uncomfortable or not.
Do you like your human? Can you see the “rest of your life” component in your interactions or are you marred or confused by the physical attributes and sexual interactions? If this works for you, okay. My intuitiveness says that you’ll be alone and feel lonely at some point in your life due to this limited interpersonal connection. Filling voids with your sexual conquests in effort to “feel the like.”
This blog is dedicated to the person I “like” the most in the world…~WM~
Whiskey Momma 