Like many in this pandemic, I’m unable to share my free time with those that I relate to and enjoy spending my time with to relax and recoup from the hustle and bustle of work (which will now be whatever I do from the home), family, and other bullshit. I’m discovering that maybe I am a little bit more social than I previously believed I had been.
Don’t get me wrong-I enjoy not having to be too close to folks, as I usually do when I’m out and having dinner or drinks, or shopping. But, I’m reaching my point of needing my humans. It’s not the physical need, it’s the proximity of being near them. Of course, a physical need is present for the hero in my life, but focusing on that too much may cause emotional harm because the “stay in home” means no traveling to see him or vice versa…
So let’s focus on that for just a minute anyway…the masochist that I am. Is anyone practicing distancing away from their partners?? I’ve had travel changed, he’s had travel changed, and although we hate it and are trying to make the best of it, it’s still shitty. I don’t like it. In fact, I find that if I spend time thinking about it-I get pissed. Thank god for FaceTime.
During this pandemic I read the news, then I must take a break. I scroll through Facebook, I see that most of my sane friends are posting weird shit that I’d never imagine they’d post, and I worry. Then I think about the way the world is shifting into an almost dystopian feel. I quickly challenge that (most of the time), but the feeling and perceptions are still there. In the back of my mind they linger because I dream of our countries’ bosses using our phones to tell us to stay indoors…It’s all very “V for Vendetta” in my dreams/nightmares.
What can we do? What’s going to happen? Is enough being done, have we gone too far? What if we never put a name on this and just let life happen, what would that have looked like? Who’s responsible for this pandemic that appears to be a play in a game of chess? Is this an opus of a mastermind who wants to take down civilization as we know it?
I leave my house and the streets are empty. I went to my job and it was somber at times, however, morale boosters are present at times- donuts, potlucks, funny jokes. The undertones of fear and weariness are present. People are talking about being tired, they’re not sleeping. When they do sleep it’s sometimes broken or full of fear and panic driven by their subconscious worries firing through their dreams and nightmares. Sounds all to familiar to me…
Who knows what has caused our present crisis? We have theories. What do the theories do for us until one is proven to be valid other than feed fear and /or uncertainties? Like many, I have those fears. I have a fear that I am not making the right decisions staying put. I fear that the virus will become bastardized into a bigger problem and more will be taken from us. All while I sit and watch, waiting for others who have a poor understanding and lack the knowledge to make appropriate decisions.
Everyday I have to challenge my thoughts. I have to voice and promote safety, hope, and encourage folks to keep moving forward. So I will too. I don’t have any of the answers. I have hope. I have a glimmer of faith that this will work itself out. I have ambition to promote a sense of peace in a time of confusion and fear. I will identify possible solutions to problems that may arise.
I will teach my responsibilities that through adversity and troubling times great leadership rises to the challenge. They will learn that their character and bravery will be challenged in their lives many times over, and they’ll know how to handle it versus running in fear from their struggles. Because that’s what they will see me do. They won’t see me whine about having struggles or how my sense of routine and stability although shaken, is not going to crumble my foundation because I have experienced struggles many times and survived.
I do this because I have my people. If you miss your people call, FaceTime, Zoom, or Skype them. Avoid visits to flatten the curve and lessen risks for exposure. Let’s work to regain our ability to return to school, work, parks, businesses, and most importantly, our people.
~WM~
Whiskey Momma 