Oh divorce how I love thee, let me count the ways…puke. The end has come and I have compartmentalized most of the grief. However, at times a sense of sentiment and loss hit me like a Mack truck.
Looking ahead I think about my interpersonal relationships with others and evaluate who stays, who goes, using that damn checklist. I might add that the checklist has not changed since the separation, but I have. I have allowed myself to become vulnerable. I have taken some risks to feel rejected. I have pushed people away and held them in a holding pattern. I have been pushed away and brought back into a holding pattern.
The process of moving forward after heartbreak is such a pendulum depending on who is suffering. I know those who have suffered years, months, and weeks and have struggled to move forward. Holding onto the sentiment and their fear of getting hurt again. Which is undeniably our reality.
I had another great week of growing and spending time with some extraordinary humans. Some have cast me aside (at least that’s how it feels) some have surprised and wowed me, and many continue to hold me up. The end doesn’t have to be the end. It can be beginnings and it can be opportunities.
I met “Rex” who (don’t tell him this) may be one of the most brilliant innovative minds I’ve met. Our meeting was inspiring and I know that at some point there’ll be a variety of “just sundaes” and “sundaes with all the fixings” in my future. Hoping no matter the dessert preference it’ll be profitable for the human race.
I’ve suffered as I signed the proverbial dotted line that says I can do whatever I want as a single woman. Again, lifted by the butterscotch and bourbon gods, in addition to one of those extraordinary humans who understands the suffering no matter the rage.
I have the best support system.
Whiskey Momma 
2 replies on “The End…for Now?”
Don’t know quite what to say, but I will start with congratulations on your new found freedom. You have so many people who love and respect you for just being you. Secondly, I’m sorry for your lose of dreams and possibilities I know we all have in our marriages. I am sorry for the tears, heartbreak and fears that have been bestowed on you by the one person who was supposed to guard your heart against the rest of the world. Back to congratulations on being a loving supportive protective mom to those 2 beautiful babies you have been blessed with. Hug them tight and prove to them you all will be ok and you will Always love them. They are the best of you. Lastly thank you for being brave enough to share with no telling how many people who may need to hear your words. Krissy, you are loved, valued and appreciated. Don’t ever forget you are enough!
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Thank you for your kind words Wendy. I know people care. Sometimes ones cup just runs dry. Then a young hand reaches out and says “I can get through this because you are helping me.” Those moments are the moments I need to not take for granted.
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